Throwback Thursday {1980}

1980 A modest church growth explosion courtesy of our young marrieds.

I love looking at this picture because it brings back memories of a special time in our lives. Our co-pastor at that time calls it their Camelot. These babies and preschooler’s remind me of the bonds of friendship shared and how it was expressed in fellowship with each other. We had bible studies in our homes, cookouts in the summer and a Christmas party where I tried requesting “no jeans” and took a lashing for that. When Ken showed up in his Orchestra tuxedo tails it was all worth it.

That’s our boy on the front row in blue. One of the three born in 1980 in that group. Our daughter in the back to the left of the blonde, the girl she always looked up to like an older sister. Julie was a lifeguard so Heather wanted to be a lifeguard. Julie played volleyball so Heather would play volleyball. Thank God Julie was, still is, a good role model putting God first in her life.

We parented each others littles and our foundation in community was being set.

And then someone moved, and another and another. A couple drifted away and the rest of us held close together. New people came along but it was never the same kind of bond. It was like a recipe you’d always made with butter but now margarine was being added. On the surface, you’d think it would be the same but it wasn’t. We weren’t the same. You can’t be the same when you’ve been fractured.

Our ministry group with our pastors. I’m pretty hard to find so good luck.

The years have spread us all apart and few of us keep in touch. Were it not for Facebook and social media I doubt there’d be much contact between us. The years that have come between aren’t easily closed. Our lives have taken us in different directions though one thing I know (with the exception of one family who we’ve all lost track of) we’ve spent our lives following God. It looks different for each of us. We go to different churches, serve in different ways. But we serve the same God who brought us together for a few short years and built within us a foundation that has been shaken but not broken. Tried but strengthened and better for it all.

The Waiting Game

Sometimes I watch the clock. The tick-tocking of it can move slow when you’re waiting in a doctor’s office or for test results or a phone call. Time moves at the same rate but it can feel plodding or speeding fast depending on what’s at the other end of waiting.

Today, we are waiting for the phone not to ring. Guaranteed if I hear my husbands cell phone ring this morning my breath will catch just a bit until I know who’s on the other end of the call. This is the day that Salvation Army Officers in this part of the country will receive a phone call if they’re being transferred. If we’re not moving, no phone call. Hundreds of us are waiting. Around every time this year, we play this waiting game.

We have dear friends who are caught in a much different waiting. Waiting and watching for signs as their 47-year-old daughter battles cancer with which she was only diagnosed two months ago. This is the worst kind of waiting, the one with an outcome unknown.

Then there are the families of the men in our program who are waiting. Waiting for their sons to clean up, for their husbands to come home sober, waiting for some good to come in life. They are well-practiced at this waiting. Waiting to see if their teenage son will outgrow the experimentation and then waiting for him to stop lying and stop stealing and waiting for him to get better friends and the waiting gets longer each time.

We wait on answers to our prayers wondering if the waiting itself is an answer and wanting to do anything other than wait.

Christians throughout the world have been waiting for Christ’s return for two thousand years. He continues to prove his time isn’t our time and so we wait. Again.

Maybe it was during this waiting that I’m not good at, the waiting that makes me want to give God a hand and push him over so I can get things done and end this waiting, maybe it was during one of these bouts that I thought about his waiting. His waiting on me. On me to sit still, to let go, to listen, to love, to give, to forgive, to trust, to live today everyday. He’s waiting and He never tires.

I have heard his voice, read his words, lived his call but still I hesitate to give all, to give in, to Him. There is a piece, a tiny one I think, but that bit that makes him wait. And like the good Father he is, he not only waits, but he waits patiently. On me. On all of us. This is grace. Grace that says, “I love you no matter how long it takes for you to know that I. love. you.”

The Lord is not slow in doing what he promised—the way some people understand slowness. But God is being patient with you. He does not want anyone to be lost, but he wants all people to change their hearts and lives. 2 Peter 3:9 NCV

Remember that one word thing?

It doesn’t seem it’s been nearly a year ago I flipped and flopped and hemmed and hawed on a word, one word, I would choose to be my One Word for 2013. It was to be a challenge, a reminder, a goal, motivation, this one word was to carry meaning for this new year.

 

It was a new year and I felt ready for this word. Ready to stop putting things off and stop staying tomorrow or later. Today. 

I blogged about it and you gave input and encouragement. I found the website, My One Word, and I publicly proclaimed MY one word. Then. February.

I didn’t know I’d get this email, today, asking how I’ve done. It’s like accountability!

I didn’t know there was going to be a follow up and I didn’t realize just how poorly I’d do at letting this one, little, two-syllable word mean something. 

The email is an invitation to finish well. To share how I will “lean into” this word as this year comes to an end. I can even respond in video form. 

Finish well? I’m not sure I ever really got started. Does a few weeks, maybe a month at best, count for anything? Can I just pick it up the next two months and forget about the other eight I’ve totally neglected?

Today, I won’t respond to that email. Like that?

I’ve been all over the place lately. Physical traveling yes, but more emotionally and I need to set some bearings – today.

There is a lot I’ve left undone and dwelling on that will make me undone and right now I need to see what I am doing. What He is doing. Today. 

Today he is leading me in considering my legacy as I open his word each day.

Today he is teaching me I am enough, in Him.

Today he is supplying all my needs and waiting for me to learn about enough.

Today he is taking my worries and forgiving my sin and Today he is my more.

Time

If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I’d like to do
Is to save every day
Till Eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you

Time in a Bottle, Jim Croce

It was a cheesy song from my high school days and over played on the radio but we all sang along when it came on. Saving time, wasting time, find time, outta time, “got, got, got, got, got no time….” From songs to comedy routines time is a common theme, seemingly from the beginning of time.

“Prayerfully consider what changes—including cuts and additions—you need to make to your schedule to awaken to the wonder of rest and a healthy rhythm in your daily life.”

21 Days of Wonder….the title sounded so alluring…Wonder. I need and want that as part of my life. But these challenges….to name beauty, to reflect, and now to alter MY time, MY schedule and MY routine…have made me search deeper than I would have thought. To write words that were so hard. And now, now I must confess my misuse of time. My squandering of it for my whims.

Father God, if I am to know wonder, I must know you and I must spend time, take time, make time in allowing you to show me Your wonders. Forgive my selfishness and squandering. Guide me in your healthy rhythms of life. Allow me grace to share in Your time as all is Yours.

“My times are in your hands.” Psalm 31:15

 

Tomorrow

There are a variety of consequences to spiritual procrastination from destroying relationships, to stress, to a chronic sense of guilt. It can erode your sense of joy and eat at your self-esteem. But the worst is, it will keep you from ever realizing the purpose for which God created you-not because you ever said “no” to God. You just said “tomorrow”.

So here is the bottom line. As we go into this new year, where in your life are you choosing “tomorrow” where God wants you to choose “today”. – Pete Wilson

The other word I’d considered choosing was Jump. My words will jump right out, unfiltered, but my actions, my resolve? Not so much. When I shouldn’t jump, like getting frustrated with the dog, technology, traffic, people, myself, I do. The harsh tones fly out of this impatient soul and I jump all over the poor ones in my way.

When I should jump, helping another, giving more time, money, patience, I don’t. I rush out of the office, look for excuses not to get fit, to learn more or teach a class. No jumping there.

So I wondered, just thought, maybe that’s what God is prompting inside my heart. At the same time I see me being a miserable failure at it. If I jump, will I be able to balance jumping with the breathing? Maybe my word should be balance? Yes, yes, there are too many to choose. Just breathe, right?

And in my effort to get it just right, I procrastinate. Put it off. I’m not saying no. Just not today.

Not today to journaling my prayers, exercising, drinking more water. Not today to calling a dear friend more, taking on an extra class, praying for my children more. Not today.

It feels too big to start today all those things I’ve put off to tomorrow. It overwhelms and weighs down and it’s a lie. Jesus says, “Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:30 the Message). But I make it hard. As if it’s all up to me. It never is. Not when I do it His way.

Jump. Breathe. Jump. Breathe.

Today.